Class - This is DR. Jackson
by AlternativeC
Summary: Daniel has to teach Cassie's class.


"Er...Jack , I'm not too comfortable with this..."  
"Just push , push harder...OUCH! Dammit , Daniel!"  
"I'm trying Jack! I'm just not a...'manly' man , as I think you've noticed."  
The door to Colorado Elementary school finally opened.  
"Daniel , just can it , would ya?!" grinned Jack O'Neill as he made his way down the empty hallway , leaving his anthropologist to struggle with the door. Jack had visited Cassie's school a thousand times , he knew this place like the back of his hand. In fact , add a finger or two , and a couple of scars and this place probably could probably be his hand . But a little bigger. Obviously.  
That , however , was not the point. The point was that he knew the kids , he loved them , (although that was not a piece of information that would be dragged out of him in a hurry.) Jack always had a way with kids , especially his son Charlie - before the accident. Sarah always said it was because Jack was so childish , and Sarah , Jack thought wryly , was rarely ever wrong.  
Kinda like a certain anthropologist not a million miles away.  
Stopping briefly , running a hand through his silver hair , Jack waited impatiently for his friend to catch up. Daniel jogged lightly down the hallway towards him , and Jack took this opportunity to take inventory of his buddy. Jackson was a desert man , there was no question about that. At first , it hadn't surprised Jack that Daniel spent a great deal of his childhood growing up in the egypt sands , but as time progressed he began to notice things - little things - that seemed to suggest maybe Daniel never really left. His sandy desert hair , his blue eyes - what was that thing that Carter had said? Like mirages in the middle of the Sahara. She got that right . They were always full of false hope.  
All in all , Daniel Jackson was an enigma.  
And a geek. Definately a geek.  
When Daniel finally caught up , breathless not from the light exercise but from wrestling with the door from hell , the two men trekked onwards towards Cassie's classroom where the presentation was to begin.  
"Jack...what if they don't like me? What if they don't understand? I'm no good with kids , you may have noticed that from the way they tend to avoid me."  
Jack almost snorted outwardly. Daniel , he knew from experience , was mostly prone to impulsive actions and excited outbursts. Rarely did Jack catch him with anxiety attacks. All the Colonel could think of to comfort him was one of his patterned eyebrows 'looks'. He chose his 'look' carefully , finally opting to stare at his friend with a 'C'mon! For-cryin'-out-loud' expression.  
It was lost on Daniel.  
"I'm hopeless with children! You know that!"  
"Daniel , I can honestly say that I know absolutely nothing. I am mentally liberated , if you will."  
Daniel ignored his sarcastic remark , "I know I swore to do this thing for Cassie , but a child is more difficult to impress ...or at least keep an interest! What do they care about egypt?! They like baseball , and...an...and what else do kids like? I don't know. They won't listen to me. They'll fall asleep!"   
"Danny , it's Show and tell , it's not like we're briefing them on a mission. And , if they start snoring , do what I do - fire your sidearm a couple of times and show them your dogtags."  
"I'm a civilian , I didn't bring dogtags , or a sidearm."  
They approached Cassie's classroom , even through the door the children were in an outrageous uproar.  
"Well buddy , I guess you're screwed."  
  
Part 2  
Samantha Carter leant against the hood of her jeep , waiting for her CO to appear. Cassie's school was supposed to have finished 15 minutes ago , techniqually speaking - (and with Samantha Carter , it was always technically speaking) - the Colonel and Daniel should of finished by now. But Sam knew how much Jack liked children , probabily , She thought wryly , because he never really grew up.  
By the gates of the school , Teal'C waited impatiently. At least , she thought it was impatiently...his back was straight , with his arms behind his back , and his eyebrows shot so high they weren't visible under the rediculous Knicks hat he was wearing. That was usually a sign he was impatient. Although , it was also a sign he was happy , sad , angry , bored , restless , and excited. Teal'C only knew two facial expressions , impartial and Kel-no-reem , so reading his face was downright impossible.  
Lost in thought , Sam almost missed Jack walking out of the main building , strutting happily , a grin plastered firmly on his face. Teal'C made his way towards the commanding officer , but Sam stayed put , allowing her butt to become ever more numb. Where was Daniel?  
Colonel O'Neill and Teal'C talked inaudiabley , and Sam strained her ears trying to catch what they were saying. What was that about Daniel? Did Jack just say "hauled"?  
Teal'C made his way back to Sam , his face almost registering a slightly amused grin.  
"There has been some trouble with Danieljackson." He reported , neutrally.  
Standing up straight , she stretched her legs and tried to compensate for the height between the two of them. Why was Daniel ALWAYS getting into trouble?!  
"Alright Teal'C. What happened , is he hurt?"  
Jack's voice took her by surprise. "Not yet, Give him 15 minutes."  
At that point Sam could make out a crowded figure trying to make his way out of the school building. With each step , it looked more and more difficult to move , no matter where he turned it was impossible to manuevre . Well , it usually is when you have children dangling off almost every appendege of your body.  
Oooooooh! He said "mauled"!  
  
Daniel tried to take it one step at a time , edging closer and closer towards Sam's blessed jeep. At first he was taking care not to hurt the children , right now he was more concerning of making it out alive.  
It was hard to believe that after nearly two hours of camels , pyramids and Mummies , the kids still wanted to hear more. In fact , they were getting kind of violent about it , tugging on his clothes , grabbing his arms. One blond kid even tried to steal his glasses and ransom them for more anecdotes , but he was quickly "disposed" of by the little girl who wanted to know if he was married. Or at least , he thought it was her , it might have been the little redhead in the back. Hell , it might've been the fat kid who sat next to Cassie , he couldn't tell without his glasses.  
Any how , every step forward was a step to freedom. At least , he thought , they were willing to learn. Most children now-a-days are just computer games , and television and....whatever it is that kids are into now-a-days. When Janet asked him to help Cassie out , he came out with a long series of elaborate excuses which , to say the least , burned up before impact. He felt for sure that he was doomed from the start , but apparently - as per usual - things didn't go expected.  
Not that he wasn't loving every minute of it.  
So finally , after two hours , 5 billion questions and a Miss Hoover's phone number later , it was time to go and drop a Cheshire cat of a Cassie home. By eight o'clock tonight , he should have more coffee than blood , and by this time tomorrow he would be on another planet.   
Just another little detail he had "neglected" to mention the children that day. Thank Gods for small favours.  
  
Epilogue.  
The children waved enthusiastically at the red jeep as it drove off into the distance. Even when it was a tiny dot on the horizon. Even when they were certain they couldn't be seen anymore. Even when they weren't certain they were waving at the right car , they still waved. Right until their arms were too tired.  
Fat kid turned to the little blonde girl. "D'ya think Cassie was right?"  
She shrugged "About Mr. Daniel discovering the gate? Why not , she was right about the Colonel and the Jaffa , wasn't she?"  
  
  
The End! *Cue sinister music*   
  
  



End file.
